Finally the day came...
I had been avoiding this very moment by closing my eyes to the outer world; the real world as they call it. But I guess being an ostrich doesn't help; burying your head into the ground can't drive away the fears. So, it happened.
We walk into The Royal Palace together for the last time. No matter how optimistic one is, one thing is certain: nothing would be the same again. It just wouldn't be complete. Sitting at the dinner table, I realise something. Time is NOT a great healer; it just helps you to ignore the pain, just like a bandage without an antiseptic. Years may go by before I'll see these people again...these people who I have embraced as my brothers. These people, who have seen me at my best and worst and treated every moment just the same. These people, who literally taught me the meaning of a friend, be it by stealing my grubs behind my back or standing up for me when I needed them the most. I can feel some water welling up in my eyes.
I get up abruptly and walk out the door leading to the balcony. The "Shatabdi Dwar" to the campus stares back at me. Beneath me, the hustle bustle of the small township of Roorkee goes on unhindered. The Delhi-Haridwar highway bears its daily load of traffic as if nothing has changed. I find great peace in this sight. "Some things never change", I hear myself saying. With some strength, I look into the glass window. I hear no sounds but I can make out by their expressions that these people aren't the least bit worried. Poor Souls! it'll strike them late. For some, it'll be days. For others, it could be months, years and even a lifetime. Things that get left behind, get lost. It takes an effort to retrieve them: A herculean effort to keep the past and the present together. I hope atleast some of them are willing to make that effort.
The train of my thoughts is broken by someone's voice. I find Sirrocco standing next to me with an inquiring look. "kya hua bhai?", he asks. "Nothing". Of course, it's a lie. What else should I say? Head bowed, I walk back in and sit down at the table. Nobody seems to pay much attention. In a way, I am thankful for that. This group is just perfect, everyone acting as if this was just another dinner together. As if reading my thoughts, Dhruv remarks "We all are eating together after a lot of time and it isn't somebody's treat!!" I go over each face at that table and I feel I have known that guy a lifetime.
Mandy, the guy with whom I have spent endless niteouts: Niteouts that were meant for studying but ended up as Bakar sessions. I owe him a lot, an acknowledgement in my B.Tech. degree being the least of those things.
Sahu, virtually my roomie in the first year. Infact, people in the football team called us Siamese twins. He is going away, faraway, away from the country into something phoren. Don't know if I'll see him again.
Chiru, the reference point. He never changed, probably never will. He just gave you the feeling that everything is stationary, more so by his sloth like pace of walking.
Sattu, my brother. He was never more than a call away, sometimes even a thought away. We have had our ups and downs but nothing has ever changed between us, atleast not the important things. It'll be difficult without him.
Tangan, the only hostler at school. Innumerable nights spent talking about school days and friends. The fun of an all-boys school, the disciplined routine, the first love letter, the blunder and the punishment. Memories come flooding back. It will never be the same again.
Sappi, supposedly the jester of the group. Only few people know the pain behind that smile. An inspiration for those with humble backgrounds who wish to achieve a lot. I'll miss the mimicry and dance nites of which he was star attraction.
Dhruv, the loud mouth who gets himself and others into trouble time and again. I treasure his straightforward nature; atleast it doesn't stink of pretenses that people put on these days. His after-drink antics will be sorely missed.
Sirrocco, the ultimate standup comedian. Raju Srivastava would pale in his presence. Always there to add a humorous touch to the most serious of situations. What will I do in moments of panic without him?
I'm leaving behind this intricate web of relationships woven over the past four years. I can only hope the web is strong enough to survive distances both physical and mental. Hope...Hopefully Hope will keep us together.
I had been avoiding this very moment by closing my eyes to the outer world; the real world as they call it. But I guess being an ostrich doesn't help; burying your head into the ground can't drive away the fears. So, it happened.
We walk into The Royal Palace together for the last time. No matter how optimistic one is, one thing is certain: nothing would be the same again. It just wouldn't be complete. Sitting at the dinner table, I realise something. Time is NOT a great healer; it just helps you to ignore the pain, just like a bandage without an antiseptic. Years may go by before I'll see these people again...these people who I have embraced as my brothers. These people, who have seen me at my best and worst and treated every moment just the same. These people, who literally taught me the meaning of a friend, be it by stealing my grubs behind my back or standing up for me when I needed them the most. I can feel some water welling up in my eyes.
I get up abruptly and walk out the door leading to the balcony. The "Shatabdi Dwar" to the campus stares back at me. Beneath me, the hustle bustle of the small township of Roorkee goes on unhindered. The Delhi-Haridwar highway bears its daily load of traffic as if nothing has changed. I find great peace in this sight. "Some things never change", I hear myself saying. With some strength, I look into the glass window. I hear no sounds but I can make out by their expressions that these people aren't the least bit worried. Poor Souls! it'll strike them late. For some, it'll be days. For others, it could be months, years and even a lifetime. Things that get left behind, get lost. It takes an effort to retrieve them: A herculean effort to keep the past and the present together. I hope atleast some of them are willing to make that effort.
The train of my thoughts is broken by someone's voice. I find Sirrocco standing next to me with an inquiring look. "kya hua bhai?", he asks. "Nothing". Of course, it's a lie. What else should I say? Head bowed, I walk back in and sit down at the table. Nobody seems to pay much attention. In a way, I am thankful for that. This group is just perfect, everyone acting as if this was just another dinner together. As if reading my thoughts, Dhruv remarks "We all are eating together after a lot of time and it isn't somebody's treat!!" I go over each face at that table and I feel I have known that guy a lifetime.
Mandy, the guy with whom I have spent endless niteouts: Niteouts that were meant for studying but ended up as Bakar sessions. I owe him a lot, an acknowledgement in my B.Tech. degree being the least of those things.
Sahu, virtually my roomie in the first year. Infact, people in the football team called us Siamese twins. He is going away, faraway, away from the country into something phoren. Don't know if I'll see him again.
Chiru, the reference point. He never changed, probably never will. He just gave you the feeling that everything is stationary, more so by his sloth like pace of walking.
Sattu, my brother. He was never more than a call away, sometimes even a thought away. We have had our ups and downs but nothing has ever changed between us, atleast not the important things. It'll be difficult without him.
Tangan, the only hostler at school. Innumerable nights spent talking about school days and friends. The fun of an all-boys school, the disciplined routine, the first love letter, the blunder and the punishment. Memories come flooding back. It will never be the same again.
Sappi, supposedly the jester of the group. Only few people know the pain behind that smile. An inspiration for those with humble backgrounds who wish to achieve a lot. I'll miss the mimicry and dance nites of which he was star attraction.
Dhruv, the loud mouth who gets himself and others into trouble time and again. I treasure his straightforward nature; atleast it doesn't stink of pretenses that people put on these days. His after-drink antics will be sorely missed.
Sirrocco, the ultimate standup comedian. Raju Srivastava would pale in his presence. Always there to add a humorous touch to the most serious of situations. What will I do in moments of panic without him?
I'm leaving behind this intricate web of relationships woven over the past four years. I can only hope the web is strong enough to survive distances both physical and mental. Hope...Hopefully Hope will keep us together.
4 comments:
I could almost feel the pain behind the words. Wenr thru the same thing last friday (though Tangen being out like a light helped lighten up the situation a bit). I'll miss all these guys too but cheer up. No one's going anywhere. We might end up meeting sooner than you think ;)
i was in a bad enuf mood missing roorkee...n then i read this...i feel so much better now:(...sarcasm unintended.
dint know u blogged...anyway gud luck 4 A...(i think this is the nth time iam sayin this)
its funny though i dint even say bye to u in roorkee...bye
poor u....don worry u will make nu frns...
Very touching! Very well written. I can almost relate it to myself! Only that I was among those who realized its worth after leaving... Undergrad! undoubtedly the best four years of my life.
Post a Comment